Sacred Marriage: fear of God defined
- Jerry Witham
- May 27, 2009
- Series: Sacred
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For by Him all things were created both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rules or authorities – all things have been created through Him and for Him. Colossians 1.16
Jesus is the creator of marriage. Marriage has a great purpose beyond us. It is to display Jesus, to glorify Him. The chief end of marriage is to glory God by revealing the new covenantal relationship of Jesus with His redeemed people (Jesus and His church). This is an important foundation that we must constantly keep before us, so that the winds of this culture do not cause our marriages to crumble.
Another great need in our marriages is the fear of God. None of our family relations or any relationships will be right unless we fear God.
From the beautiful text in Proverbs 31.10-31 we see the description of a woman who fears the Lord. Some believe that this writing is a mother giving godly wisdom to her son. It is great wisdom and at the center of this woman’s heart is the fear of the Lord. The Proverb says, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised (31.30).
To fear the Lord is not a natural thing that comes easy to us. We are not born with this. David in Psalm 36.1-2 says, Transgression speaks to the ungodly within his heart; there is no fear of God before their eyes. For he flatters himself in his own eyes concerning the discovery of his iniquity and the hatred of it. The word fear is translated here as terror. It is the same word that is used when speaking of the final judgment. Man is depraved and flatters himself, meaning he has no sense of God, eternity, the wrath of God or of the final judgment and he becomes ego driven, and full of pride.
Therefore, the fear of the Lord is something that must be birthed from above and taught to us. Moses says to the Israelites, Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when the LORD said to me, ‘Assemble the people to Me, that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children (Deuteronomy 4.10). The fear of the Lord is something that is learned. We need to be taught about the fear of God. The woman in Proverbs 31 has had such a fear birthed in her by the grace of God and has evidently been taught such a thing. She is also passing it on. So the fear of the Lord is to be birthed from heaven, learned and then taught.
How do you define the fear of God?
The word fear means to be afraid, to stand in awe, reverence or to honor. Wilhelmus A'Brakel says, Such fear is a holy inclination of the heart, generated by God in the hearts of His children, whereby they, out of reverence for God, take careful pains not to displease God, and earnestly endeavor to please Him in all things. As CS Lewis reminds us through the beavers in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, No, God isn’t safe – be He’s good. The apostle Paul warns us to observe both God’s kindness and His severity in Romans 11.22, Behold then the kindness and severity of God; to those who fell, severity, but to you, God’s kindness, if you continue in His kindness; otherwise you also will be cut off. We must have a reverential awe of the Lord.
Jeremy Burroughs, The Puritan Preacher in London in the 1600’s, says, that this fear is the greatest fear that swallows up all other fears; that you justify God in your fear; that you fear the departure from God as well as the wrath of God; that nothing can quiet you but reconciliation; that this does not drive you from God, but drives you to God (Jeremy Burroughs, Gospel Fear, 30). We need this in our marriages. We need the fear of the Lord to drive us to God. Without such we are just spinning our wheels and chasing our tails. This can be dangerous. When this grows old and it will, temptation and sin will creep in. John Calvin says, All wickedness flows from a disregard of God. Since the fear of God is the bridle by which our wickedness is held in check, its removal frees us to indulge in every kind of licentious (without moral restraint) conduct. The fear of God is the bridle to our marriage.
We must learn and grow in the fear of the Lord by the grace of God for the sake of our own souls, for our marriages and for the glory of God. So, as Solomon says, Fear God (Ecclesiastes 5.9).
